Fake Out

Think your fake ID can pass? Think again...

Your 21st birthday. The highlight of your college years. That day when you can walk into a bar and flash your ID, and the bouncer mutters those magical words, “OK you're good.” Ah the joy, the elation. But wait, the bouncer is looking at you curiously. “Hey,” he says, “haven't you been here before?” Well, of course he's referring to all those harmless times you walked into that same bar with a different ID that stated you were 6 inches taller and were 24 years old. But really, what harm did that do? More harm than you can possibly imagine.

Fake IDs are the nemesis of every club owner, law enforcement official and bouncer. To students, they are the only way to get through their college years. A highly obtainable free ticket to inebriation. Now to say I myself was not guilty of this crime would be hypocritical. I admit, in my reckless youth (read: last semester), I had my hands on an illegal form of identification. It is only now, after speaking with several officials and seeing police crack down on IDs, that I realize what a serious problem IDs are. Let's look at the fake ID issue from several different perspectives: the student, the bouncer, and the law enforcer.

The Student

That would be me. Now I like to drink. I'm not a binge drinker, I enjoy a nice margarita on a hot day; and every now and then at a romantic Italian Bistro, I'd like Chablis. But, being the innocuous and pointless age of 20, I am unable to do these simple things. Why? Because some hormonal teens hyped up on Malibu and Sprite made some stupid choices. They gave all of us “irresponsible” teens a bad reputation.

Now true, 18-21 year olds are involved in many more alcohol related accidents than those who are legal. But maybe this is due to the fact that no one bothered to educate these kids, about the dangers of alcohol. Instead they were just told, “don't drink,” and that was that.

We can draw a parallel between drinking restrictions and sex education. Some sex education classes preach abstinence. The best way to not get an STD is to not have sex. This of course is true. But is it realistic? No. People are still going to have sex and some will make informed choices while others make stupid choices, that may end up causing them their lives. Wouldn't it be smarter to educate those in a sex ed. class about the dangers of having unprotected sex and not thinking about the consequences of their actions? Or perhaps teaching students prevention methods other than abstinence?

Okay now look at drinking at the same way. Most teens are not told how alcohol affects your system, what alcohol poisoning can do to you, what it means when your B.A.C is at a certain level, or how to know you've had too much to drink. Instead they are told to abstain. No one bothers to teach them anything more than what alcohol does to your liver. Most teens don't even know where their liver is let alone what it does. A more practical solution would be to teach teens how to gauge when it's time to stop drinking, what happens to them when their B.A.C is at different levels, and what alcohol poisoning can do to them. If my health teacher would have taken the time to teach me these things, I could have been saved from a lot of embarrassing encounters and awkward explanations.

So as you see, to the student, the drinking laws are stupid, henceforth something that doesn't’t have to be taken seriously. Therefore we don’t see the problem with using an ID. After all, we’re only putting ourselves in danger right?

The Bouncer

Bouncers are evil, soulless brutes put on this earth to make your life a living hell. Right? According to John Conwall, an ID checker at Tabu, there is nothing farther from the truth. “We aren't the bad guys, most people just have a problem with people who have the ‘power,’ like RA’s and bosses. You try being around wasted people five hours a night. You’d be a little grumpy too.” Conwall spends his nights sitting on a stool checking IDs to make sure underage kids don't get into the nightclub and cause it to shut down. That's right, shut down. Because it’s the club that gets a big kick in the butt if you are caught in there with a fake ID. But that, of course, is only if you can fool Conwall.

“Since Tabu opened we’ve taken 80 [fake] IDs. They can be such a pain in the ass for us because we have to go through the extra effort of checking IDs and people get angry and insist it’s them. It can be quite funny though. Someone will insist and insist it is them and it clearly isn’t so we say okay then sign your name on this paper and they go to do it and sign the wrong name. But on a serious side they are a problem because it’s the bar that gets in trouble if something happens to a kid in there because they got alcohol from us. We’re responsible.”

Signatures aren’t the only way Tabu makes sure underaged kids abide by the rules. In addition to signatures, Tabu uses backlights to tell if IDs are fakes. “With out of state IDs you can tell the ID is fake by the hologram on it. It’s usually horrible; I mean something you can buy at Staples. New York State IDs have a black light reactive seal that is really hard to fake. But mostly people use really bad IDs which you know aren’t them. Or they chalk, which shows up in the black light.”
Since Tabu is an 18 and above club, they have to make sure that they can keep those who are underage in check. Says Conwall; “Underagers get a mark on their hand with both a black marker and a black light reactive marker. If they wash it off they get kicked out.” In addition to these marks, there are at least 12 bouncers roaming around on a weekend night, either patrolling the dance floor, the seating areas, or watching the bathrooms.

Conwall and his fellow bouncers are just plain sick of dealing with arrogant underage college kids with fake IDs. “Bottom line is don’t come to Tabu with a fake, because it will be gone. Plus you make our jobs harder. We don’t come to your place of business and insist and throw fits and make your job harder. People with fake IDs put us in a bad position. We are just trying to enforce the policies of New York State and protect everyone so they can have a good time with no problems.”

The Law Enforcement Official

Lt. Mike Branch isn't out to make your life a living hell. He doesn't wake up every morning and think, “Gee, how many underage kids can I bust today?” He's just trying to protect kids from the harm of alcohol.

“Drinking leads to other problems. Most of the time we don’t get the kids in the bar. We get them when they get out of the bar and they’ve had too much to drink. When they start a fight, drive a car drunk, or get assaulted. That’s what we’re trying to prevent.”

Using a Fake ID can get you in even more trouble than that. If you’re looking for jail time, try using that ID at the nearest liquor store or bar. If the police catch you, there will be hell to pay. The list at right shows exactly what you get charged with for each type of ID. Says Branch, “Most of the time we only charge them as a violation of vehicle and traffic. Only because it drains so much of our resources to prosecute it as a misdemeanor, and there are many more important things for us to be using those resources for.”

So instead of stopping a robbery, or stopping a domestic dispute before it gets ugly, many of the resources that would be needed to stop these things get tied up prosecuting college kids who think they are better then the law. Still think that ID is harmless?

Our Responsibility

The drinking age is 21 for a reason. It's to keep anyone younger than 21, whom the government deems too irresponsible to drink (yet responsible enough to die for our country in a pointless war? Hmmm) from making irresponsible choices. Now I'm not saying I agree with the drinking age. Hell no. I'm 20 years old and as an adult I believe I am old enough to make that decision to drink responsibly on my own. I certainly disagree with our country's restraints on alcohol. But the fact of the matter is, it's a law. My opinion, and Joe College Student’s opinion on the matter don’t change that fact. Petition a congressman; try to get a bill passed if you want it changed.

For right now the law says 21 and officials don't care what your homemade ID from Wisconsin says, or what loopholes you think you know about the law. They're cracking down on ID's in bars, and I, don't plan on threatening my education just for a Tequila shot at Bogart's. I would hope that other underage students would make that responsible choice to not jeopardize their education, criminal record, or the livelihood of their favorite bar by using a fake ID.

Still think your fake ID is harmless? Let us know why!