Spring 2003
Canadian Eh?
No doubt about it Canadian comedy is great, EH?
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Somewhere in the cold, bitter, Canadian winter huddled in their Igloo, there is a group of people who speak French and drive a Zamboni. People call them Canadians. Well this is a misconception I would like to clear up.
Don Ferguson, of Montreal,Quebec, is one
of the most well-known Canadian comics. He stars in Royal
Canadian Air Farce, a television show on CBC. Some of his most famous
characters are Lucien Bouchard, the Chicken Cannon’s Col., Bill Clinton,
Bob Dylan and most prime ministers. Ferguson graduated from Montreal's
Loyola College with an Honors English degree, then worked in radio and
as an audio-visual producer and photographer until he discovered that
comedy writing and
performing was more fun.
Bowser and Blue are musical satirists and have been writing and performing music and comedy together for more than twenty years. Their latest CD release on their own 'You Guys' record label is called ‘We’re all Here’, recorded live in August, 2000. This includes the song ‘When Lawyers take Viagra’. Also available are: '20th Anniversary', featuring ‘When a Man Turns Fifty’, 'Crackpots', which features 'Christmas in the Middle East', 'the Night they Invented Poutine', 'Troubadours', recorded live for CBC Radio, and featuring 'C'est la faute du fédéral', 'Whoopee! It's man bashing time' and 'Working where the sun don't shine' (the colorectal surgeon's song), 'Montreal Souvenirs', a whimsical tribute 'for Montrealers - wherever they are now!', recorded in studio, 'Live at the Comedy Nest', featuring funny songs about Canada, Quebec and elsewhere, recorded live in concert and 'Live', a mixed bag of humour and songs recorded live in 1993.
Sylvain Larocque is a writer and a comedian. His versatility
as a performer enables him to work in many ways… he can be a host, and
can also write hilarious comedy. The result is an audience that roars
with laughter… On top of that he is one of the very few bilingual performers
in the country. He can make anybody laugh regardless of their culture
and mother tongue. At 32 years old, Sylvain has already been featured
for the last six years at the prestigious Montreal international "
Just for Laughs and Juste pour Rire" 
comedy festivals.
Martin Dube is an Impressionist, from Quebec, and his seven octave voice takes over on stage. His cross-over entertainment style and his ability to perform in both English and French, makes this versatile artist ideal for all occasions Some of Martin's musical guests include: Louis Armstrong, Tina Turner, Jon Bon Jovi, Celine Dion, Stevie Wonder, Axl Rose, Billy Joel, Melissa Etheridge, Michael Burgess, Martin Stevens, Elton John, Luciano Pavarotti, Jesse Norman, The Platters, Rod Stewart, Patrick Swayze, Chris De Burgh, Liza Minelli, The Village People, Frank Sinatra... and many more!
Here is a list of common misconceptions of Canadians:
1. We are not lumberjacks or fur traders.
2. We do not live in igloos, or own a dogsled.
3. We understand the phrase, “Can you pass me a serivette, I spilt my poutine.”
4. We speak English, not American.
5. We know that a toque is a winter hat.
6. We eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
7. We drink pop, not soda.
8. We have a prime minister, not a president.
9. Our money is multicolored.
10. Pike is a fish, not part of the freeway.
11. We drive on a highway, not a freeway.
12. We pronounce it ‘About’ not ‘A Boot.'
13. Our local newspapers cover national news on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.
14. It is illegal to own a gun in Canada.
15. We have grade 12 not 12th grade.
16. We know that a chesterfield is a couch.
17. We pronounce it ‘Zed’ not ‘Zee.’
18. And we don’t have pet beavers.
Ways to know that you are Canadian:
1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK."
2. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba, its a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
3. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
4. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
5. You perk up when you hear the theme from Hockey Night in Canada.
6. "EH" is a very important part of your vocabulary.
7. You still use the metric system of measurement.
8. You have more kilometers on your snow blower than your car.
9. The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
10. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing u's from labor, honor, and color.
11. You know how to say free, prize and no sugar added in French thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
12. You've plugged a car in overnight.
13. You've defended your property from trespassers with a hockey stick because you don't own a gun.
14. You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
15. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
17. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
18. You can play road hockey on skates.
19. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
20. You can drink legally while still a teen.
21. You're not sure if the leader of your nation has ever had sex and you don't want to know if he has!
22. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
23. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
24. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
25. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
26. You know that the friendly giant isn't a vegetable product line.
27. You wonder why there isn't a $5.00 coin yet.
28. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
29. You never miss "Coaches Corner."
30. You know that handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your mittens.
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The Things Canadians say:
Canadian Folk Sayings: 1. He's so thin he has to stand twice in the same place just to make a good shadow. 2. She's so skinny, if she turned sideways holding a glass of tomato juice, she'd look like a thermometer. 3. She was pure as snow, but she drifted. 4. Nervous as a cat in a room of rocking chairs. 5.Low man on a totem pole. 6. Dirty as a duck's puddle. 7. Thin? seen more meat on a hockey stick. 8. She had more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Source: http://www.tourcanada.com/comedy.htm
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