People Hunting is a Blast in Upstate New York

This isn't a game for the weak of heart, so leave that pack of smokes at home.

Make sure to always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction...at a human.

You’re walking quietly through the woods with gun in hand, poised and ready to take aim. The green foliage and sunlight surround you as you stealthily stalk your prey. All of a sudden, you hear a twig snap! Never mind, false alarm, it was just a squirrel. Today, you have a much larger animal in mind than a measly fur ball. The animal you seek has soft skin easily penetrated by the projectiles waiting inside the chamber of your gun. Finally, after long moments spent stalking, there the great beast stands. Almost beautiful in its splendor, the unsuspecting creature is oblivious to the doom that is quickly approaching. A few more steps…still the animal suspects nothing. You sneak closer. Thirty yards, 25 yards, 20…now you’re in range. Take aim, wait for it… FIRE! You unleash a hellfire of shots in the direction of the beast. Screams of pain and anguish can be heard as the giant entity takes its last breath and crashes to the ground. Adrenaline pumping, you push nearer to the animal to inspect the trophy soon to be hanging on your living room wall. A better look illustrates that the creature has not yet taken its last breath…the deathblow hath not yet been struck. The creature is covered with a red, blood-like substance…but blood it is not. You didn’t kill some wild beast. You just pelted your friend with a flurry of paintballs!

Maybe you’ve wondered how much it hurts to get shot in the chest by a paintball gun, point blank. Well here is a firsthand testimony from paintball amateur and enthusiast Benjamin Cella, a student at Plattsburgh State. “It hurts. It hurts a lot, but I like it.”

These may sound like words coming from a crazy Vietnam veteran or some kind of bondage freak, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Cella is just a regular guy who enjoys getting shot at on the weekends.

In fact, there are a ton of guys and gals out there just like him in good ol’ Upstate New York. And what do they do when they need to relieve some primal aggression and rage built up from weeks of never-ending school or work? Shoot up an office building? Send bombs in the mail to unsuspecting civilians? Hell no! They grab their guns, take aim at a human, and shoot him full of paintballs!

Ken Eckhardt owns and operates Tiger Stripe Paintball, located on Route 9N about four miles off of I-87, exit 34. He has done so for about eight years, and doesn’t see a reason to stop anytime soon. “Paintball is a fun, extreme sport,” Eckhardt explains, “It’s the adrenaline and the thrill of it.” Not to mention it’s fun to watch your friends writhing in the dirt after you pelt them with a hail of marble-sized balls filled with paint.

A masked man displays a head wound.

“It hurts. It hurts a lot, but I like it.”

A game of strategy, paintball is most commonly played by pitting two teams against each other. The last person standing without getting shot wins the game for his or her team. Usually the teams consist of anywhere between four and 10 people, but Eckhardt says, “I’ve seen games with up to 70 people participating at once.” Seventy people running through the woods with guns, hunting each other? Now that sounds like a good time!

Are you still too scared to don the mask, get out in the woods, and take the pain? Here’s a tip from Jamie Avery, a longtime fan and a frequent player of the sport. “It’s all fun and games until somebody gets shot below the belt, which happened to me the last time I played,” he says. It sounds like somebody won’t be having kids any time soon. And even after Avery’s throbbing experience he says, “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” Next time maybe he should be a little more careful, before someone strips him of his manhood.

As for injuries, Eckhardt states that safety always comes first. “Statistically there are less injuries in paintball than in other sports like golf and tennis.”

Of course, there can always be a mishap whenever firearms are being used, especially when they are being intentionally fired at humans. “There have been some close calls when people have pulled their masks up too quick. No one has gotten hit in the eye with a paintball, but it kind of scares you,” says Eckhardt. He insists that all injuries on his courses have been due to human error, and not equipment failure.

Safety always comes first.

“We’ve had a few guys over 70 years old. They shoot their grand kids…they love it!”

This is a game to be enjoyed by people of all ages. Eckhardt has witnessed people on his courses that range in age from under 10-years-old, to over 70. “It’s great,” he says, “We’ve had a few guys over 70-years-old. They shoot their grand kids…they love it!” Ah, geriatrics shooting the youth of today- isn’t it a beautiful thing?

It looks like this is an activity the whole family can enjoy. Not only that, but it’s great for employee outings too. Chances are the boss would go home covered in welts, and the blue collar workers could finally get to live out that fantasy they’ve been harboring inside for oh so very long. The only two reasons Eckhardt can site why people don’t like paintball is that some feel it is just too dangerous. Others feel that the game is too militaristic.

It’s not a problem if you don’t have any equipment- everything you need is available for rental at most courses. If you decide you’re in the sport for the long haul and want to invest in some equipment of your own, go to www.xpaintball.com.

“We have six different courses available,” says Eckhardt. Two of these are designed for speed ball No, this is not some kind of designer drug cocktail; it’s an extremely fast-paced version of paintball. The speed ball courses are significantly smaller than ones that are full size. They are perfect for extreme people-hunting action, so if you’re looking to shoot some humans at an extremely close range, this is the place to be.

Maybe you’re looking for a change in your hunting grounds. Altona Paintball, located at 226 Irona Road in Altona, offers four playing fields, each with its own homicidal theme. They boast courses including a junkyard, a village, a jungle, and a fortress.

Two hours of play, everything included, will run you about $25 at most courses. If you want to play for three hours you can expect to pay a little over $30. This includes a semiautomatic paintball gun, a 12-ounce Co2 tank, a mask, and a couple hundred paintballs to help in bagging the perfect trophy human.

And for all intents and purposes, listen to paintball veteran Jamie Avery when he says, “For the love of God, wear some protection below the belt…please.” That sounds like worthy advice from a wounded man in desperate need of an ice pack.

Have you had a chance to check out any cool paintball courses lately? E-mail us!